What is a traditional family
My mum and dad split when I was 7. I never had much contact with my dad’s parents, I moved around a lot when I was younger. I had slightly more contact with my mum’s mum but not that much more, again because we moved around a lot. So I didn’t have that ‘normality’ but I would have liked it for my children. However, that’s not to be and I’m struggling with how I explain that to my boys.
They’ve got a mum and dad who are together and who love each other very much. He’s got a Nana (my mum), an Uncle and Aunt (my brother and sister), a Nanny (my fiancé’s Nan), and 2 more Aunts who live in Wales (my fiancé’s sisters). But that’s all.
My dad. We’ve had a lot of arguments and troubles over the years but I thought he’d step up and be a decent Grandad. Maybe try to make up for the mistakes he made as a father. But no. It seems to be getting worse. He’s seen Henry twice this year (it’s June) and has gone 2 months without texting or calling, to ask how we all are. When I text him to tell him I was pregnant again, he asked if it was planned and then thanked me for making him feel old. It’s even got to the point where we’re not invited to his wedding. Well, we are if we can find about £5000 to get to New York! Everything is always someone else’s fault but his. Henry turned 2 today. Did my dad text? Ha! Absolutely nothing from him to wish his only grandson a happy birthday. Disgusting.
My partner’s dad is pretty much the same. He lives 10 minutes away from my fiancé’s Nan. We see her every weekend. My fiancé’s Dad has seen Henry a grand total of 4 times…in 2 years. He’ll buy him birthday and Christmas presents but no thought goes into them at all. When we text and told him that I was pregnant again, his reply was ‘yes, your nan told me :(‘. What a lovely response to the fact you’re going to be a Grandad again!!
Henry doesn’t know either of these men, not really. And I’m struggling to see why I should let them be involved in the boy’s lives just because they’re
We’ve basically stopped all access to our boys for my fiancé’s dad. My dad was on his last chance but after him not bothering with Henry’s birthday, I think it’s time to cut ties. It sounds really harsh when I type it but I need to think about what’s best for my boys and they need continuity, not someone who flits in and out when they feel like it.