When is the right time to have another?

Baby Henry

Right time.

I’m sat watching Katie Piper’s Extraordinary Births on Channel 4 while Henry has his nap. Henry is now 15 months old and his newborn days feel like a lifetime ago! And there are days when I wish I could relive the newborn stage again, I miss the cuddles and that new baby smell.

Baby Henry
Baby Henry

This is Henry at about 3 hours old. It was the first picture I took of him. I also miss being pregnant. Since having him, I’ve had trouble accepting my new body, stretch marks and kangaroo pouch. But when I was pregnant, it was the most womanly I’ve ever felt. Stretchmarks and all. I even miss labour. Yes really. My labour was induced, I dilated to 10cm, pushed and then was rushed to theatre for an emcs. I had gas and air and an epidural. But not once did I make a sound. I am apparently a silent labourer. The excitement and anticipation are amazing.

Pregnant me

I was 34 weeks in this picture..I loved that dress!

I see a lot of women who had babies around the same time as Henry getting pregnant again, some as quick as 3 months after giving birth. I saw Tom Fletcher (from McBusted) announce his wife is expecting their second and I think their son is only 3 months older then Henry. So this got me thinking…when is the right time to have another?

There are pros and cons to any age gap. Having them quite close together is very hard work but then they could have an amazingly close relationship later on. Waiting a bit longer won’t be as hard but they might be too far apart to play with each other and they might not have a close relationship until they’re adults. Me and my partner have talked about having another but every time we say we’re both ready, something comes up. And there are times when I think “Henry still needs me to himself, it would be selfish to have another one. How would I cope with the guilt I know I’ll feel?” Then there are the days where Henry is testing my patience and I wonder if I’d cope with 2?!

Do you really just ‘know’ when the time is right for another baby? Or do you just have to dive in head first and deal with it? I know as soon as I get that positive test, I’ll be excited and gearing up to be a mum of 2..as well as feeling scared, terrified, tearful but ecstatic.

Watch this space…

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  1. Kelly browning says:

    Hey you are right there is no right time to have a 2nd baby! It’s whatever suits you and your family! Everyone is different! My little girl was 5 when my little boy came along last year! Personally for me I wouldn’t have done it any sooner as I wanted to spend as much time as a One on one with my daughter! She deserved all my attention! I still struggled with the feeling of guilt when I fell pregnant 2nd time! The things that I constantly thought about…. How would my daughter cope with a sibling and having to share me and her daddy after having us to herself for 5 years!! But she was amazing and I’m so proud of her! She loves her brother and helps me out a lot! They play together and she has a lot of time and love for him! For me 2 is enough haha so we won’t be having anymore!!

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