I see it. I can see that looking at your face when I say I’m not sending my boys to nursery or preschool. It’s only fleeting but I notice it. It’s a mix of worry, panic and concern. Thankyou but I don’t need your concern. 

I’ve had this look from friends, family, health professionals and even strangers. There’s been a lot of reasons given for ‘The Look’ and here’s some of my personal favourites;

“Well, he needs to socialise”

“Don’t you want a break?”

“I don’t understand how you can have them around you 24/7”

“I can’t wait for mine to go to nursery!”

“He’ll learn something new every day”

When these are said to my face, I’m stunned. I don’t know how someone can have the audacity to question my parenting decisions. But afterwards, when I sit and think about it, I come up with the perfect answers and then wonder why I’m not quick enough to come up with them at the time! So here are my answers to all of the above;

I agree with you about socialising to an extent. He does need to socialise BUT please tell me when else in his life will he be forced to socialise with a group of people just his age? In the work place, he’ll meet and socialise with people of all ages, genders, religions, sexuality and backgrounds. So why is early socialisation with a group of 3 year olds so beneficial? I would also like to ask if you’ve actually met my H? Because he is one of the most open and friendly children you’ll meet and that definitely has not come from sending him to nursery.

Yes, sometimes I would like a break. But I get that when they’re napping or when they’ve gone to bed at night.

I can have them around me 24/7 because I actually like their company. They’re both great fun and I enjoy being around them.

I can’t actually answer number 4 because I have no words for people who can’t wait to get rid of their kids.

He learns something new every day at home. He knows so much already and that’s been down to me and his dad. I honestly think he would be stifled at nursery or preschool.

So please, next time you pull The Look at me or anyone else who has decided against nursery, please don’t. I’m pretty sure you don’t get any kind of look when you decide to send your children to nursery so don’t try and shame me. My children, my choice.

Please Don’t Nursery Shame Me.
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