I realised the other day that Archie is now 19 months old. The same age Henry was when we decided to have another baby…apparently we chose the right moment because we fell pregnant on my first cycle. There’s about 27 months between them and now that Archie is older, the age gap is perfect. They love playing together (most of the time!) and I can do things with them that amuse both of them. They’re into the same toys and TV shows which makes my life a lot easier, especially when I’m working.
But while it’s mostly sunshine and rainbows now, I have to remind myself that it wasn’t always like this. For the first 14 months of his life, Archie was so clingy. He was pretty much attached to me because I was exclusively breastfeeding and this made my life really difficult. I had to do the night feeds and wake ups, I had to be there for him whenever he cried and it was only me he wanted. Henry had just turned 2 when he was born so he still wanted me a lot of the time and I couldn’t be there for him the way I had been before we had Archie. Which of course made a huge amount of Mum Guilt set in and I spent a lot of those early months crying and having daily breakdowns. I’d regularly ask Gareth to finish work early and my mum spent a lot of time at my house to save my sanity.
Now that Archie is 19 months, I wonder how life would be if we did decide to have another one. When me and Gareth first started talking about having children, we wanted 4. However now, I don’t think that’s actually feasible. Life would be so much more expensive, we’d need a larger car and a bigger house. But I think 3 is manageable. We would be outnumbered as parents but I’m outnumbered when Gareth is at work anyway! Because of the small gap between the boys, I don’t want to leave it too long before having another one…but when is the right time?
We’d need to move house but we want to do that anyway. Our current house is way too small and it’s not maintained well by our estate agents. We’d need a bigger car but again, that’s on our to-do list…it’s just saving up the money to get one. And my argument is that if we’re on a ticking time bomb, we’d hurry up and get a move on with it all. Gareth always comes out with the same counter argument though…I want to wait for the right time. But when is the right time? Is there ever a right time to have a baby or should we just dive in and see what happens?
I don’t know the answer to this yet but I do know we’re getting married this year and we haven’t finished organising that yet (about 3 and a half months to go!) which obviously we need to save for. And with all the practicalities of having 3 children, is it really a good idea with the way I was after having Archie?
What are the age gaps between your children? Does it work or looking back, would you do it differently?
I’d love to hear your thoughts